No Regrets
Rating: PG-13
Pairings/Characters: Matsuda, Light (with mentions of other characters)
Warnings: Spoilers from Chapter 103; Not beta-ed
Notes: This is just referring to that moment. I'm sure Matsuda have his regrets...

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The events unfolding in front of Matsuda have not quite registered in his brain. He watched as Light transformed into a boy whose sudden outburst was a far cry from his dignified ones. Then in a split second, feigned a painful composed front and announced he does not know the dejected man.

When Aizawa slowly walked up to Light, placed a firm hand on Light's shoulder and reminded him of his premature victory, Matsuda felt his world turned. "Light..." You cannot be Kira. "Why...?"

Those words were all he could manage before his knees hit the cold ground. Hanging his head in despair, he thought of Soichiro Yagami who had sacrificed his life and died believing in his son's innocence. Then Sayu and Sachiko... the poor girl's kidnap that had left her traumatized and the ill-fated wife whom always seemed to have the enormous strength to cope and support her husband. And then L, whose untimely death, would always left Matsuda lamenting.

When Near dealt Light with the fatal blow of how Mikami had failed him, Light released a deafening roar before falling to the ground with his hands on his head. The unexpected laughter caught Matsuda off guard and as he spun around to look at Light, the view and confession burned into his mind.

"That's right. I am Kira."


'Sooner or later...'

The echo of Light's thoughts lingered sinisterly in the air as he watched the cream dissolved in the cup of tea while he slowly stirred. He had too much coffee for the past week and for most of the time, he was awake throughout the nights. Somehow, he felt that the whole drama would be ending soon. Near was nothing but a mere low-grade copy of the worthy prodigy. His moves have been pretty much predictable up to that point -save for some unexpected twist- and it should be a breeze to counter his subsequent moves.

"Thanks for the tea, Matsuda." Light took a sip and continued to stare at the computer screen.

"No problem! It's the least I could do."

Matsuda gave a big smile. He was proud of his expertise at making coffee and tea. When L was still alive, he was not all gleeful about it when L made it seemed as though that was all Matsuda was good for. However as time went by, he felt himself gaining some unexplained satisfaction. Especially when L told him that the coffee he made was second best, right after Watari. That statement had meant a lot to him.

"I still remember L was very fond of the coffee you make."

Light closed his eyes and massaged them for a moment. The image of L sitting beside him while devouring an enormous amount of confectionery had been one daily routine he needed to face when they were both handcuffed together. Light could not help but noticed the designs on the cakes, which Watari served up everyday. There was one particular design, which never failed to show up. It was a small round-shaped blueberry flavored cake with no design on it. Just a plain looking cake. It stood out awkwardly among all the whimsical ones. And he had presumed it was L's favorite cake because L always saved that for the last.

A small smile formed at the corner of Light's mouth and he stopped massaging his eyes. He got up from the chair, headed for the refrigerator and retrieved a small box from it.

"And L always appreciate the coffee more while having his cake."

Matsuda's face lit up almost immediately. "I didn't even notice there's cake in the fridge!"

"I had Misa bought it earlier on and I went back to pick it up before you woke up."

"Oh... I overslept today." Matsuda smiled sheepishly.

Light just gave him a faint smile and proceeded to open the box. "Well this is L's favorite cake and... Happy Birthday, Matsuda."

The last thing Matsuda had expected was a cake and Light remembering his birthday.


Matsuda felt a cold hard metal stung in his right hand and looked down. He had no idea when he had pulled his gun from his pocket. Throughout Light's lengthy argument on Justice, he flinched and shook at the ideas that he once did not deny was entirely evil. He had always believed in Light and always snorted at the idea that Light is Kira... And that birthday... how Light was the only person, besides Soichiro Yagami, whom actually remembered his birthday. How can such a person be related to evil?

How would Soichiro Yagami felt if he died knowing that his only son was Kira and had betrayed their trust? Does Light really know what is righteous and peace? Why should his father died for Light's plans for a better world? Is this what a son should be doing...?

"He's got a note hidden on him!!"

As soon as Rester yelled out, Matsuda pulled the trigger and fired a shot at Light.

Matsuda have absolutely no regrets.